ununderstandable

it got me thingking allright. not about how life is only once hence use it as good as you can, but more in a way that life is only once, so why bother? losing a friend so young and full of life remind me of my own lost. is it fair if we are expected to do our best in life when we are not even sure where our boat is headed. is it fair when we are trying to achieve our goals, then bang... a lightning strikes destroying either our efforts nor taking something so important for us?

apathic..hmmmm.. what else is new huh? i'm getting sick of these whole games. but nothing i could do to stop it. do you call it quitter or do you call it faith if i stop trying and just take it as god's want?

story of the rose

Kamu akan terus mengeluh tentang durinya yang tajam

Sementara aku akan terus mengagumi warnanya yang indah

Sangatlah mengagumkan bahwa kenyataannya kita sedang melihat sebuah bunga mawar yang sama....

me-the apathic fool

a smile of hope

today i have seen a smile. not just an ordinary smile.

a smile that gives me back everything.

a smile on a christmas eve, that gives me back the faith of celebrating something beautiful that i've lost the day my beloved person in the world passed away.

a smile from those who are crazy in love, gives me back a slice of hope that eventhough it's a long and winding road, hopefully there'll be someone out there for us.

it's as simple as a smile. a line on two mouths.

but it's an amazing way that god has worked his way for me...

let there be zillion of other smiles, not just for me but for others outhere.

5-est of my life

let see..this is how I describe things in my life with 5 thing of each topics in random order

5 happiest things: 1. the birth of my baby bro 2. keluar dari jatinangor 3. lebaran trip 2003 4. dapet kaos the incredibles 5. setiap ketemu kaka nisya dan dede nadia.

5 biggest ooops: 1. canceling my one year stay in uncle sam 2. having adh as my boss 3. ninggalin nokia 3650 gue di taksi 4. suka sama olin 5. may 2002

5 biggest crush 1. bob eldison 2. sounds like 8 in French 3. emile inkiriwang 4. cowo di iklan trika 5. dr. Ebenezer

5 hal yang lagi gue suka banget: 1. jaket adidas ijoku 2. buy 1 get 1 free caramel ice blendednya coffee bean 3. xda IIku 4. blogku 5. floss nya bread talk (telat yaaa?)

5 most remembered lines: 1. ‘kamu jangan dating ke saya bilang kalau kamu mau berhenti. Kamu dating dan bilang kalau kamu punya masalah dengan bos kamu. Kita cari pemecahannya’ – danny anthonius when i say i am quitting my job 2. ‘sa, maap ya beib kalau aku mesti duluan.. mestinya aku nungguin kamu merried dulu ya?’ – cupi when we hugged at his wedding day 3. ‘you are good. We want to hire you’ – Simon Bell at my business week interview. 4. ‘you are a zillion way better than what I expect you to be’ – jerry, somewhere in our relationship. 5. ‘Sarah Olivia!! gee, she's my hero!! .. hehehe.. she's the first person who build me in to who i am sekarang' - pawpaw in the friendster testimonial.

5 hal paling ngeselin 1. setiap hal yang berhubungan dengan adh 2. ditanyain Vienna soal mango 3. waktu debby meluk2 emile di pestanya fenty! 4. dengerin orang2 ngebluff tentang sesuatu yang udah ketaker bangetttttt 5. ditolak liburan ama panggi pip

5 best relationships: 1. me & mommy 2. me & b.1904 sp 3. me & cupi, wiwit, aldi, tyo, mandy, anay, velant. 4. me & sampoerna menthol 5. me & intan

5 things I wanted so bad: 1. Toyota 1st 2. a trip to japan 3. a butterfly in my tummy 4. a constant work out 5. dicium brad pitt..kikikik!

5 things I missed doing: 1. jalan-jalan di hari kerja 2. hidup hedon ala velant 3. chatting ama huzen 4. baca buku yang lama dan serius banget 5. becanda kuli sama wiwit

5 places i love so bad: 1. mangga dua 2. cityhall, citilink, marina square dan daerah sekitarnya 3. a park in front of kak rissa’s apartment in Melbourne 4. bioskopnya ex 5. tempat tidurku

5 things I enjoy doing: 1. jotting down my thoughts 2. makan dragon roll 3. nonton film & denger lagu cengeng kalau lagi sedih 4. ngobrol lewat berbagai media 5. mikirin besok mau pake kostum apa yaaaaa.

5 saddest things: 1. when my daddy passed away 2. kalu bentar lagi uthe ngga tinggal di rumah lagi 3. musuhan seminggu sama intan 4. waktu tau ternyata salah seorang sahabat gue nyuruh pacarnya do abortion 5. seeing my dad in the hospital for the first time

5 hal terbodoh yang pernah diminta seseorang dari gue: 1. meninggalkan temen2 gue demi pacar yang baru jadian sebulan 2. bilang sama adh kalau gue ngga cocok kerja sama dia 3. ikut liburan sama emile ke bali. 4. minjemin uang ke mantan pacar 5. berhenti belanja

5 hal paling mengharukan: 1. waktu cupi nemenin gue sepanjang hari, feed me, comfort me, give me medicine waktu gue sakit di bandung 2. waktu wiwit minta gue harus ikut ke ‘the valley’ pas ulang tahunnya e** 3. kata-katanya rony pas dia marah banget waktu gue mutusin untuk menghindar dan memilih ngga say goodbye sama dia. 4. waktu stef bilang nyokapnya bilang foto gue paling cantik diantara temen-temennya 5. dicuciin seprei dan baju sama anay waktu ngga punya pembantu di kost-an

5 best well-kept secrets judulnya juga well kept secrets, jadi ga gue tulislahhhh. what do you expect?

SHIT...stoooooop!

would you stop running around in my head just for a bit? let me rest my soul in peace just for a sec. i know you say that i asked for it. i did. long long time ago. way back in a perfect life that i used to have.

i say it was boring. wrong. it should be written in capitals. BORING! yes, so idiotic of me to do that right? who the hell i am calling my perfect life boring? true as it can be, in my opinion a person will have 2 choices in life. first, having a constant headache because of one's continous problems or two, having a flat rounded life absent of problems.

mine was the second one. and i prayed for it to juggle a little bit. now, look where it got me. hmmm.. a sin perhaps? for not thankful to His great blessing. now i've had it.

the thing i asked for is right now in my mind. it's constantly running around, torchering every bit of my restless soul. and i almost given up. should i? *problems, there you are..*

thoughts vs talk vs reality

tell me god, will i someday regret posting this one? this is the one for someone who had made my day last friday. someone who did a whole lot more than what i'd expect him to do. that's why it felt so big. so this is where the story begin. in my 4 days of whole day long thinking, i've decided the solution of my problem is to call it QUIT. after i felt 'batman' supporting act with my decision by his ready action of letting me go, i felt that that's that no one will stop me again. so the last thing to do is to talk to the 'biggest' one. this should be easy for he's someone whose in my thought will support my decision to quit, and even encourage me to do it faster for he's already sick of my demanding attitude not to mention i'm confronting one of his favourite person. but the story took a sharp turn. no, he did not support my quitting. he offered me to find a solution. 'dont come to me saying that you are quitting. come and say that you have a problem. and i will think of a smart smooth way to get you out of it'. man, that's humongous coming from him. i know that someday he'll be able to show other attitude that make the 'sick of him' feeling crawls to my mind. but as for right now, i say i like him a lot. i like him for stopping my 4 days of unstoppable thingking, i like him for making me able to smile again, i like him for not making me let go of my 4 mill, i like him for stopping the painful headache that i've been having, i like him for making me feel guilty of coming to the office late and most of all, i like him for making me able to do shopping again. i like him for making me feel that there's hope afterall in this place next: will his comforting words come to reality?