The F Word...

If there are things i'd say that i've been learning in these past days, then the answer will be the F words...

Ha ha.. Not the harsh F Word .. but F as in "forgive" and "forget"..

Indeed, these two word is not something new. i've heard them before. One too many time perhaps. But never has i come to the occasion that i have to practice them..

oh wait.. maybe it's not NEVER, but at least it was ages ago that i had to exercise them. i remember, as a child up to my early youth, i was this fat clever kind hearted gurl. i was nice to (almost) everyone. And it's in my nature to forgive.. i had love (almost) for everyone.

it was as i grow older, that i know the world is a hard place to live in. i know if i don't learn to fight back, i will never be forward.. i feel that i'll always loose.

But now, my learning curve of fighting back is at its end. i guess the Almighty wanted me to reminiscence the essence of to forgive and forgotten. Damnnnnnnn, it sure is hard to relive those days when i know how easy it is to do that...

After being used of fighting back and doing self-defense, with the mindset of 'if you don't take care of you, then who will' rooting for ages, learning to forgive yet forget is like learning to walk again.. you will fall, you'll be hurt, you'll cry, be angry and even grow self-pity, thinking 'what did i do wrong to deserve this'.

But a journey of depth will lead to a strong foundation. Slowly but strongly, i was formed.. Now, somehow i see myself coming back to those days.. the days where forgive and forget are not the hardest thing to do in the world.. the day that i overlook the 'me', the very big 'me' and learn to accept the being of other which might hurt me. overlook my ego, my pride and my self-esteem..

Well, it start with the hubby first, but hopefully someday for everyone..

Cheers,

Sa.