Somewhat Stupid

As much as I hate to admit, I've done zillion of stupid things in my life. Stupid,as I can feel it's sudden impact, or a slower kind of stupidity, that I feel the effect when I've been sank in it..

Okay..confession time..

My latest sudden impact stupidity happened last night. I was walking toward my driver, in a descend road while smiling to a new coworker..then BOOM..i fell to the ground, full with shame. trying to escape the situation, i get up, not looking at anybody then run to my car..I cant bare the shame..hiks..hikss..compromising the mortification, after 15 minutes of car ride, i felt something pulsating on my knee..DAMN.. I didn't see nor feel it before. My poor knee is bleeding to death..and it turns out that i've sprangkled anlge as well..Owh well, that's the price i've to pay for my stupidity..

After a carefull thought, a bleeding knee and a springkled angle, I've come to a conclution that a sudden impact stupidity is still a hundred times better, than the other kind of stupidity. Sure, i no longer have a flawless knee, can't sleep for days from the pulsating wound, cant wear minis for months, or given a bad image for draggin my one feet while walking. But there's no way in hell i would say it's the worse thing, if i have to compare it with the day i am so happy for getting a raise..

Hell, why do i say getting a raise is worse then a wound in my knee? One thing is a wound, and the other is a bless aint it? because of the consequences my friend. A knee wound, the fruit of my walking carelessness is something that i got from my stupidity, and i can feel the impact only a couple of minutes after the fall. But my raise? Well it keep me happy for sometimes..but, i keep wondering why did i get a raise? I'm not a brilliant nor superbly dilligent worker..so why? it turns out, the raise is the compensation of their guilty feeling for letting me do simple and easy day to day job that wouldn't bring any development to my brain, skills nor career. they would let me do that job untill i rot, while actually i am a more 'eager to learn' person..so this is where the stupidity began..the stupid thing is that i sacrifice my need to develop my self and my career for the amount of money i could hardly get at other working place. there...i've said it!

that is not the only impact that i got. somehow, i cannot stop my job, move to other places that might will treat me better though with less money, and let my self become the "babu" i am treated in my current job..isn't that pothetic? My lateness of realizing the stupid thing i've done, have sank me to that stupidity more and more..I have no idea when, where or how to stop.

Now, in my case, isn't it become so obvious why a bleeding knee is better then a raise? THey both have caused me wound. one wound cause a sudden pain. It will heal, though it might leave a distinct mark of an unflawless knee. while the other, created a remarkable happy feeling for sometimes then become a wound that will leave a remarkable mark in my heart. a wound that will never be healed (well, at least it might take a life time and a zillion of self-enlightment to healed)

The fruit of stupidity, slow or sudden, it will sure leave a mark. but better in your body then in the heart